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Funeral Laughs - Welcome or unacceptable?

Mon, 21 Oct 2019 17:38:14 GMT

Should we have a laugh and joke at a Funeral?

What constitutes 'right or wrong' at a Funeral?

Most of you will have now seen or heard about the prank a man pulled on the mourners at his Funeral when he had a recording of his voice secretly played from a speaker by his grave. Here is the link to the press release of the family made video. Please note this does contain some strong language.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/funeral-man-voice-coffin-recording-dead-ireland-sold...

How do you feel about this? Do you find this funny or in poor taste?

My guide to families is that there is no right or wrong as such, as long as what we do is relevant and connected to the person who has passed away then it has its rightful place. For example, getting a congregation singing Karaoke style - that wouldn't suit everyone, but I have done this at the Funeral of a woman who died at a young age and she loved her karaoke - so this fitted. We sang her favourite song for her, making it a very special moment.

How does this idea fit with you? Not just singing, but the idea of a Funeral having 'fun' elements to it? If a member of your family asked you to do something unusual at their funeral would you? Do you see the humour in this story or do you find it to be in poor taste?

I'm interested to know what you all think and feel about this discussion point, so hop over to my Facebook page and leave a comment for me, or email me if you prefer!

With Love, Amanda Jane x

Funerals for pets

Thu, 26 Sep 2019 08:30:51 GMT

Would you like to be able to have a full service for your pet?

I was reading an article online this morning, here is the link for you https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/hundreds-animals-attend-cathedral-funeral-20146599 .

This raised two questions that I would like to ask you all. 1 - Do you think pets should be allowed at a funeral of a person? and 2 - Do you think you would want to have a full funeral service for your own pet when they die?

I do see dogs at Funerals from time to time, and this rarely poses any issue, sometimes they are working dogs there to support a mourner, other times they are the pet of the deceased and it is felt that they should be there. So what do you think about this?

I am sure pets miss their owners when they pass away, some of us are incredibly close to our animals and I am reminded of a fridge magnet I once had that said ' the more I meet people, the more I love my dog'! I did love my dog too (still do) and the wrench of her death is still felt many years later. Would it have helped my grief (and that of my family) by having a formal service for her?

There have been some formal style funerals for animals here in the UK, but we are a long way off this being the norm, however, this is something that could change in the future. Purpose built chapels at establishments where animal cremation takes place or perhaps Pet Funeral Homes that have their own cremation facilities as well as the option to bury would be possible. So if there was a pet funeral home in your area, would you use it? Do you think formal ceremonies for our beloved furry friends (not all of them furry I know) would benefit our journey with grief?

Grief is grief after all - in whatever form it takes!
Let me know what you think! Check out my Facebook page and lets get a bit of a chat going about this!
https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/
With love
Amanda Jane x

Coping with bereavement

Wed, 18 Sep 2019 16:43:02 GMT

How do we learn to adjust?

Grief - is ultimately, the price we pay for love. For losing someone we love is a wrench like no other.

Death is never easy to cope with - even when you know it is imminent and even when death can be seen as an angel of mercy, when someone dies it will still come as a shock.

This blog post is about how we cope with that shock, the grief, the change of life that you never signed up for. So many times I have heard the saying 'time is a great healer', but in my honest opinion, that isn't true, we don't 'heal', we adjust. We learn a new life, we gather what we have of ourselves (as often we can feel as if we have lost our very selves) and we, in the words of Dory from Finding Nemo - 'just keep swimming', because what else can we do?

I am not a trained counsellor, I talk only from experience and the experiences shared with me over time. But I know a lot of families I have had the privilege of working alongside found some of these helpful tips useful in the early days, this is all about being gentle, and not doing too much too soon. Self care is so important, and so I hope some of these tips are of use.
1. Sleep when you can. Even if it is 10 minutes at a time, let your body and mind rest when they feel able to do so. For the first few weeks do not worry about when you sleep, just take what you can when you can and if you cant sleep try and rest.
2. Eat something. Easier said than done. It is natural for our bodies to reject the idea of food when we are stressed and grief is one of, if not the worse, type of stress there is.
People will nag (in your best interests) 'you must eat something', and as well meaning as this is, it doesn't always help. Don't try and force a roast dinner when you feel physically unwell, just snack as and when you can - little and often, I'm told crackers are great for this!
3. Talk. Some of us find talking helpful and we can express ourselves openly and fully, but not everyone feels that they can do this, and not everyone will want to, or feel ready to, talk about the person they have lost. It is an individual choice.
Talking about the person who has died is painful, but it is also beautiful - remembering all the wonderful times you have had together, reminiscing, reminding yourself that whilst the person isn't there, the time you have spent together remains.
Looking at photos can be another way of allowing your brain to unlock, to allow happy times to flow back to you. Others like to write letters or poems to express their feelings or to recall good times.
4. Grief is allowed! Do not think that you cannot or should not grieve. Sounds simple but lots of people think they have to move on, have to 'get on with it' and shouldn't be sad.
5. Know when to ask for help. Whether that is having someone physically come and help you, shopping, cleaning, cooking or personal care etc, or having someone to help you emotionally. Also, tell people what you need.
6. Try to avoid self-medication if you can, in the long term this wont be helpful to you.

Remember that you do not have to face this alone, and you don't have to be super strong! As well as family and friends there are also professional organisations that can help you, often this starts with a chat to your GP who will put you in touch with either a local bereavement group (sometimes local funeral directors will have details of these) or a national agency, there are many different organisations depending upon your circumstances and where you live. Here is a link to a website with some more information:
https://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/Family-life/bereavement-support/supporting-bereaved-people/furth...

I cannot offer 1:1 bereavement or grief advice or counselling as I am not trained nor qualified to do so. I just hope that something in the above is of use to anyone who has recently had to face bereavement.
For any questions or comments please check out my Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/ or feel free to call me.

With Love, Amanda Jane x

Our Wedding Day

Wed, 11 Sep 2019 14:23:50 GMT

What should we do, or not do?

If you are planning your wedding then firstly, congratulations to you! Whilst I am not a wedding planner, I have had the privilege of conducting weddings, and have seen lots of couples make their commitment to one another. During that time, I have picked up hints and tricks, but these condense in to my three top pieces of advice which I hope you will find useful.

1. It is your day - do it YOUR way. Once you know how you want your wedding day to be then stick to it! Family can add pressure and I have seen more than one couple cave in to others to get some peace.
If you want to get married dressed as Chip n Dale then do it - ok so that is a little far-fetched but I hope you get the idea!

Stick to what YOU both want, its you that is getting married, not your Aunt or Mum (we all have someone with an opinion!).
Go through your planning list and together decide what you both want. Bridebook ( https://bridebook.co.uk/home ) have a great planner feature to help you.

2. Budget! Weddings are expensive there is no getting away from that, but do you really want to spend the equivalent of a new car or house deposit on one day? Your wedding day is about your love and commitment, not about how much you spend. You can create a beautiful day without all the added extras (that few people appreciate and that cost a bomb).

3. Communicate. Oh a big one this! Planning a wedding is wonderful, it is exciting and joyful, but for the majority of us at some point it will become stressful. Delegate to trusted friends and family members where you can, keep working together as a couple - you are both getting married so it shouldn't be just one of you doing all the organising. If something isn't going right, talk about it.
By the way - No 1 source of stress = seating plans - when you do one you will get where I am coming from! (open tables much easier!)

So my top three simple tips for you - Keep it real, Keep it about you and Keep talking!

I love to help couples put together the ceremony that compliments them as a couple and what they want their wedding day to be, whether that is something very simple or extravagant, laid back or formal. So if you are getting married and would like to talk through your options please get in touch! You can call or message me via Facebook https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/

With Love (as always)

Amanda Jane x

Lets talk about it...

Wed, 04 Sep 2019 08:18:50 GMT

Preparing for your own Funeral

No one really 'likes' to think about their own demise, it is something we look to avoid for as long as possible! However, it is a certainty in life that we all will die at some point, the variables include when that will be but the fact remains that all living things must pass away.

When that moment comes, it is the people left behind that have to organise your funeral. For some families there is frank and open discussion and your wishes are known and can be upheld, but when you haven't had 'that' conversation then it can be a stressful time trying to guess at what you would want them to do, often not helped by others trying to guide with 'well you should'...

I know not everyone is going to feel able to talk about their own funeral, but if you can write down a basic guide for your family on what you want them to do and then leave that somewhere safe for them - eg, with your will, or have it documented in your funeral plan (if you have one) or just tell the family that when the time comes, everything is written down for them and then they will know where to find your written wishes.

What do you need to tell them? This isn't an exhaustive list as there are many options open to you, but for the majority of people this will include:

Preferred Funeral Director - very important if there is a funeral plan in place.
Cremation or burial?
Type of officiant - if you know who you want, be sure to write down their name.
Where? Church, Crematorium, or somewhere totally different for the service?
If being cremated where you want your ashes to be laid to rest, and if burial, is there a certain area/ do you have a plot?
Funeral transport - do you want to take your final ride in a hearse, horse and carriage, tractor, sidecar and motorbike? (there are lots of options).
Flowers - any guidance on what flowers/no flowers/family flowers only.
Donations - do you want the congregation to donate to a charity in your memory - if so name the charity(s).
Music. What music would you like to have played for your ceremony?
Religious content - do you want any hymns/prayers or readings at your service? Are there any poems you would like to have included, how do you want us to remember your life in your ceremony?
Dress code - do you want everyone to wear a certain colour, be formal or relaxed?
Photos - do you have any preference as to whether or not there are pictures of you on display at the ceremony?
Doors/curtains (Crematorium), do you want them to remain open or be closed?

This isn't exhaustive, there are just so many options that I cannot narrow it down to one blog, but feel free to message me to ask any questions that you have.

The idea of this list is to give you some ideas on where to start. Some of the options you might prefer to let the family decide upon - things like photos of you or the doors/curtains being closed - it is the family who have to see those things, so you might prefer to let them decide on how they will feel about that.

One of the main areas that I find people struggling with is music, if you are not a great music fan it is hard for your family to pick something and likewise if you love music it is so hard to try and narrow down the choices, if you can pick your own, your family will really benefit from that.

My Dad used to say to me 'I don't care what your do, I wont be there', but once I told him how hard this can make organising a funeral he did actually sit and write his wishes, because he then realised that would make it easier for me and my sister when the time comes (which we dearly hope will not be for a very long time yet!).

I hope this is of help, please get in touch with any questions or comments you may have. You can email me at amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com, or message me via my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/

With love,
Amanda Jane x

Funeral Transport

Wed, 28 Aug 2019 13:51:00 GMT

How would you like to travel on your final journey?

I found this article on the Independent newspaper website and thought it might be a good subject to share with you all.

When the time comes for you to take your 'final ride' have you any thoughts on what or how you want to travel to your funeral service?

Some options we see frequently, the hearse is obviously the main option used, some families still have horse and carriage (or trap), and the motorcycle side-car hearse is also very popular.

Some Funeral Directors have their own vintage hearse style vehicles to add something a little different and I have seen pictures of camper vans, land-rovers, tractor and trailer etc. Not everything is straightforward of course, health and safety issues do have to be considered! So some funeral processions will only be from a few streets away from the Crematorium or burial site so as to allow for the practicalities involved.

For me, personally, I want a Volvo F12 (that's a truck) and I want a plinth on the 5th wheel so that I can be strapped down (in a coffin obviously). That is how I want to take all of my final ride, albeit it with the cab reversing in at the Crematorium, so as not to take to roof off of the cloisters!

How would you like to travel? What different options have you seen that you have either thought were fantastic or awful?

Each service should be as unique as the person who we are there to remember, so have a think about how you want your funeral to be and then write your wishes down so that your family know what to do for you when your time comes.

Lots of things to think of there, so if you have any questions or comments, please do drop me an email amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com or check out my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/ and leave me a comment there.
And if you want to look at the article, here is the link:
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/digger-coffin-funeral-jcb-lincolnshire-geoffrey-durham-a888449...

With love, Amanda Jane x

Wedding day outfits

Wed, 21 Aug 2019 10:23:01 GMT

What is 'too much'?

I saw an article on line through the mirror newspaper website - here is the link for you to check it out https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/wedding-guest-mistaken-bride-risky-18972276
I don't want to get in to any personal comments about this persons appearance, she picked a dress that other guests branded 'too bride like'. This got me thinking - first, has something similar happened to any of you? If so, I would love to hear about it!

Also, if you are arranging your own wedding, have you stated or would you state any form of dress code to your guests?

I'm interested in your thoughts - do you feel this dress looks 'too 'brid-ey'? Would you be upset if a guest wore something similar to your big day?

I will be back with you next week with a new blog - if there is anything specific you want me to discuss just let me know! As always, check out my website amandajaneceremonies.co.uk, you can get in touch via email to amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com and check out my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/ . With love, Amanda Jane x

I cannot believe how long it's been since I last blogged!

Wed, 14 Aug 2019 10:38:50 GMT

Where does the time go?

Hi, and firstly my apologies for having left it so long since I last updated my blogs - this is something I really do need to spend more time doing, which as any of you with a job/business, a family and a house will understand is easier said than done!
So this year has been amazing, many changes in my personal life have meant some time on the great rollercoaster of life, but I have come through it all with a smile and with gratitude for lessons learned. One of the many things my role in life has taught me is to live life - don't wait, so many people are waiting - for the right time, for money, for any number of reasons, but for me I have made a conscious decision to do things I enjoy and not to put things off - you never know what tomorrow will bring!
So this is just a quick hello and I look forward to posting regular blogs again for you, I am also looking at my presence on social media, so doing some training to increase my knowledge before I hit Instagram! Exciting times ahead.
As always check out my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/ have a look through my website and contact me with any questions or comments.
With love, Amanda Jane x

Tis the season...well it is for me!

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Wed, 28 Nov 2018 12:26:33 GMT

Christmas Ceremonies - could this be for you?

Christmas is fast approaching and it is a magical and romantic time for many couples. Christmas or Winter weddings are on the increase, with prices often more reasonable out of the summer season, and, with the use of Celebrant to help you create a bespoke service, wherever, however, and whenever you want - Christmas weddings are more achievable than ever!

So what do you need to think about? For 2018 you are pushing it, but it is just about possible depending upon what you want to create and where! Here are the basics:
1. First thing to do is sort the legalities. A Celebrant in England cannot, at this moment in time, legally marry you - so you need to sort the paperwork out. More often than not most couples will pick a mid-week slot in their local registry office to complete the legal side of their ceremony, often being the cheapest way to do this, but those slots are limited!
That's the legal service booked - now where do you want to have your ceremony?
2. Where to have your ceremony? The beauty of using a celebrant is that we are not bound to a particular room in a venue, or any venue at all. Whilst you may not want a winter wedding on the beach, the forest is a beautiful setting, as long as the weather is on our side! How about a private barn, marquee, village hall, a grand stately home or your own lounge? There are no boundaries - you find the venue of your choosing and your celebrant will create the ceremony with you. You will need to book both the venue and your celebrant asap.
3. How much of a 'do' do you want? There are so many options such as: cake, flowers, cars, photographer, videographer, hair, makeup, dresses/suits/shoes, reception venue, food and drink, evening event with food and entertainment, photo booths, chocolate fountains - honestly the list is endless, so one of my top tips to any couple planning their wedding - decide what YOU want and then stick to it! Auntie Flo might well want a fancy lunch in a posh hotel, but if that isn't you and isn't what you want or can afford then DON'T DO IT! Keep in mind that this is your day and should be your way - the important bit is that you confirm your love and commitment to one another in the best way for you!

So winter weddings - gaining popularity and with a Celebrant to lead the service you can have just about anything - any time, any where! Food for thought eh!

If you want any more information or want to chat through your ideas then give me a call - my number is on my website so go and check me out at ww.amandajaneceremonies.co.uk!

With love
Amanda Jane x

Photographing Funerals

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Wed, 06 Sep 2017 17:59:22 GMT

Yes or No??

How do you feel about photos at Funerals? Some families embrace the idea, others are horrified! I have always said that where funerals are concerned there are rarely 'rights or wrongs' and to just go with what feels right and in line with the deceased's wishes.

Today I was honoured to conduct the funeral for the family of a much-loved lady, it was a very cheerful service with no one in black and the family wanted to celebrate her life rather than mourn her death. As a part of this they took a good amount of photographs including the coffin in the hearse, the bearers holding the coffin and the entrance to the chapel.

Quite often the Funeral Director will take pictures of the coffins with the flowers before they leave the chapel of rest, others take photos just of the flowers after the service has been completed on behalf of the family who do not want to take the pictures themselves.

Slowly I am seeing a small increase in the amount of families who bring cameras to funerals and take pictures of the hearse, the coffin and flowers and as the coffin enters the chapel. Also, some families video the service and in modern crematoriums you can have a service recorded to send to family and friends who were not able to attend, or simply keep it for your own reminder of the day.

So how much of a service would you personally like to recall? Do you think seeing some photos of the flowers that were there on the day or the beautiful coffin that was chosen or decorated would bring you comfort or be a little too much?

I've no information on this for you, I simply wanted to open the conversation to see how you all feel about this, I do think as time moves on this will become a more widespread practise and that professional photographers will be engaged by families (does already happen but not often) as well having the service recorded on to DVD.

For any information on my work as a Funeral Celebrant please do get in touch, I am happy to answer any questions. With Love, Amanda Jane x

Don't tell the Bride!

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Mon, 14 Aug 2017 11:45:04 GMT

Daily Mail article about fake weddings

So my blog this week has to be around the Daily Mail article about Don't tell the Bride having fake weddings. You can read the article via this link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4786230/Don-t-Tell-Bride-FAKE-according-one-groom.html?ITO...

Ok so this links directly with what I do as a Wedding Celebrant. Celebrant led weddings are on the increase and so if they are 'fake' weddings why are they gaining in popularity?

Your options when you want to legally 'tie the knot' (which incidentally is an old Pagan and Celtic tradition for a hand-fasting) in England are to use the Church and have religious service, or use the services of a Registrar at either the registry office or a licensed wedding venue and have a non-religious service.

Celebrants come in to play if you want your ceremony to contain something that the church or registrar will not accommodate (you will have to phone me for details as its too much for me to go into in a blog), or if you want your ceremony outdoors or at a venue where there is no licence. So if you want to marry in the barn on your parents farm, or close to the edge of a cliff, on the beach, on a boat or plane, in the woods etc. then a registrar cannot help you - you will need a Celebrant! I do get asked to do Weddings in licenced venues, where couples have already married and don't need a Registrar, or, who want their ceremony in a different part of the venue where the licence doesn't cover.

So is it real? Well yes and no! Celebrants in England cannot (yet) legally marry you, so for the 'legal bit' we suggest a trip to the Registry office on a different date to sign the paperwork, but, that doesn't make your celebrant led wedding a 'fake'. Marriages never used to have to have paperwork to be legally binding - its a relatively new requirement in the grand scale of things.

When you join together as a wedded couple it is not the signature on the paper (how many times have we heard others saying - I don't care about the rings or the piece of paper?) that is the important bit - it is the joining of two people in love and commitment - there is nothing more binding or important (in my humble opinion).

So, you can decide whether Celebrant led weddings are fake, or whether they are a fantastic way of joining in love and commitment in a way that reflects your relationship rather than the requirements of the paperwork.

As for the show, well I still love it - it has given many a couple inspiration both on how to, and, how not to do it. It has to be watched 'tongue in cheek'! Every episode that I have seen has made it clear that the couple were not legally wed and had to go to the registry office separately so where the 'shock headline' comes from is as much of a mystery as how the 'grooms' can get £2000 knocked off of their reception prices!

If you want to talk about your plans for your big day and how a Celebrant may be the best fit for you, please get in touch for a no-obligation chat. With love, Amanda Jane x

Helping your loved ones with your Funeral

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Tue, 08 Aug 2017 10:08:18 GMT

What will your funeral look like?

'Losing someone you love is one of the hardest times in your life', it is something I find myself saying quite a lot, because it is true! When someone dies you are faced with a barrage of 'things to do', I wont go in to them here as its not the focus for this blog, but right at the moment when you need some peace and space to gather your thoughts and feelings you have to make a dozen decisions a day.

One of the top frustrations I see families face when organising a Funeral for someone they love, is that they do not know what he or she would have wanted in their service, and so an already very stressful time has added pressure trying to second guess what would be the right options.

Even when talking to my own family about what they would want in their service , my Dad especially, tells me 'oh I wont know about it, just chuck me in the river'...ok, so he is trying to be helpful by telling me he doesn't mind what we do for him, but that isn't actually going to help me and my sister one bit when the time comes!

To help those family or friends who will be asked to handle the arrangements for your Funeral, you can take some very simple steps that would really help those left behind. I have assumed (for ease) that you will be using the services of a Funeral Director with the tips below.

There are tons of options for funerals but here are the core options that you can help with:

1. Which Funeral Director ? If you have a particular Funeral Director in mind that you would like to look after you once you have passed away, ensure that your loved ones know who they have to call. If there is something that you want 'with you' whilst you are resting then make a note.

2. How do you want to go ? Burial (local cemetery or green burial?), Cremation or another option? Other options are limited in the UK but you could possibly be buried at sea, donate your body to medical science or where available have your body 'dissolved'.

3. Location for your service ? So the most obvious choices are a Church or Crematorium (be aware that most Crematorium services are in 20 or 30 minute slots so can limit the content of the service, you can book a double slot to give you more time) - but you do not have to have your ceremony in either of these.

More and more people are choosing to have their services in a place that meant something to them, such as at home, the local pub, football club etc. - there are limits to this such as how to get your coffin into and out of the venue (standard size doors are an issue), and to ensure the venue would 'host' your coffin. There is a rising trend to have the service and wake at the same time, and then a private committal for family only at graveside or crematorium.

4. Content of your service . If you have religious beliefs then you may wish for your service to be led by a member of the clergy (whatever the religion) to conduct your service, these services are of course in line with your religion and so you are likely to already know what this entails. If you have some beliefs but wouldn't want a member of the Clergy to conduct your service then a Civil Celebrant is the next option. Celebrants can include some, or no, religious content in to your service, so if you would like a hymn and a prayer but want the service to be about your life and the people you love - then a Celebrant is the best choice.
If you want no religion, no hymns, prayers and no notion of 'going back' to other members of your family then you may want to consider a Humanist. They do not have any spiritual beliefs and will not have any such content in their ceremonies. There may be a limit on what music you have as mention of afterlife, spirit or angels is also not permitted.

Alongside the aspect of who is conducting your service is the consideration as to what they are going to say - do you want a Eulogy, which is a time line of your life, or would you prefer people to write tributes to you - or a mix of both? Will the people organising your funeral know enough about your life to complete a full Eulogy? If not, how about a few notes on your life to help them.

5. Music . A core part of most Funeral ceremony's is the music that is played. Your family will be grateful for you to list a few tracks that you love, (and if you are having any - which hymns you would like), they can then know that you are happy with what is played. Some services also have live musicians or singers.

6. Coffin type . There are dozens of different styles and types of coffin, all with different price tags. If you want a simple wood coffin, then be sure to make note of this, if you would prefer something decorative like a wicker coffin woven with flowers or a coffin with a picture on it (such as a train, flowers, country scene, beach or something specific to you) then a note of this will ensure you get what you want.

7. Transport . Standard hearse, horse and carriage, motorcycle sidecar, HGV, tractor, VW camper? There are many different options on the type of 'hearse' that you travel in. Would you like your family to follow you in a limo?

8. Orders of service . These cards are helpful in a service where there is a hymn, song that everyone is to sing together or prayer so that everyone has the words to hand. They are also a keepsake for people to take away and normally you will have photos included on them. You could also have a photo displayed at the ceremony and if in a Crematorium quite a lot of them have TV screens that you can use for slideshows (you could achieve this in most venues).

9. Flowers . If you are not keen on flowers then you can ask for none, or family only - perhaps you would prefer for people to make a donation to charity rather than bring flowers. Just make a note of your wishes.

10. Dress . Is there something you want to be dressed in for your final journey? What about those attending your funeral - are you bothered about what they wear? Should they be wearing your favourite colour, your teams shirts or would you prefer everyone in bright colours or the formal black attire?

11. Wake . Do you want your loved ones and friends to gather together after your service? If so, where, do you want this to be? Do you see this as a quiet affair with a cream tea or a full out party?

12. Memorial ? Some families are choosing to have a private ceremony to say farewell to their loved one and then have a combined memorial service and wake to include everyone else. Just another of the thousands of options!

That is some of the basic information you can leave behind for your loved ones. If you have a will (and I cannot stress enough the importance of a will to EVERYONE ) you can have those instructions stored with it, if you have a funeral plan your wishes can be written in to the plan, but do make sure you update everything. If you wrote your wishes some 30 years ago and life has changed, you've moved, you've different tastes etc. - then be sure to update the wishes for your funeral.

The other thing I would suggest you consider is how your funeral will be paid for. I am not here to provide recommendations, but you could have a savings plan, insurance policy, set aside part of your estate to cover the funeral costs (normally done within a will) or take out a funeral plan. There are positives and negatives to each option and I would urge you to research each option to find which is best for you.

Just a little effort on your part now can save those left to organise your funeral a great deal of stress and worry. Losing you from their life is hard enough, anything you can do to help ease them through will be appreciated.

If any of you have any questions about organising your own Funeral (I do work with people who have life-limiting illness) or if you are having to organise a funeral for someone and you would like to know more about your options then please give me a call, I am happy to help. With love, Amanda Jane x

Outdoor Weddings in England

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Mon, 31 Jul 2017 10:07:15 GMT

What to be aware of, tips, and inspiration for your outdoor ceremony

Living near the coast of North Devon I fully appreciate the natural beauty of the area and wanting to incorporate that in to your Wedding. Whether its a back drop for photos or the location for your Wedding Ceremony. Here are some things to think about and a few ideas for your outdoors wedding!

On the beach - can you think of anything more romantic than a sunset on a beautifully warm day as you pledge your love and lifelong commitment to one another? I personally feel this is one of the most stunning and romantic locations that we have and a beach wedding is a possibility, but one that needs a lot of thought, planning and a robust plan B! So what do you need to think about for a beach wedding.
1) Unless you can hire a private beach you do not have exclusive use - therefore you cannot stop members of the public from encroaching on your ceremony, to help minimise this use a part of the beach that is quieter or pick a time of day where you are less likely to see large crowds.
2) Access. How will you get the guests and bridal party to and from the beach?
3) Tide times. Do not forget to check the tide times, otherwise there could well be no beach at all.
4) Footwear - heels and sand do not go well together. Make sure the bridal party and guests are all suitably dressed and depending upon the time of year and daily weather changes advise guests to have a jacket with them.
5) You are not permitted to set any structures on a public beach, if you want to have an arch and chairs these will need to be put in place just before the ceremony and removed again straight away - it is not something you can set up the night before (unless on a private beach above the tide line)
6) Weather. We are used to the rain in the UK but being soaked wet through on your special day is not a look any of us go for - the wind is another consideration and you may have to contend with a sea breeze - not good for hair, veils or your Celebrant as their voice will not carry against the wind (so ask them about their set up for this)! You will need a 'weather proof' plan B.

In short, UK beach weddings are incredibly beautiful, they are easiest if you are able to hire a private beach - where you can set up for your entire day. Pubic beaches probably work best for laid back, small services where everyone arrives together, stands rather than sits and then after a few photos heads off again.

Inland Outdoor Weddings . These types of Weddings are gaining in popularity. Either on the family farm, on in a large garden or on a hired field, the laid back wedding vibe is becoming increasingly sought after. These types of Weddings can be elaborate, formal, relaxed or even have a festival feel to them. So what do you need to consider?

1) Location for your Ceremony . Avoid steep hills, look for reasonably flat land where you can set out seating and have an aisle if you wish. Think about whether you will need power for music/microphone as a part of your ceremony. Where will your guests sit and what on? Will you put out chairs, benches or hay bales as seating for your guests during the ceremony? Remember that even in the finest weather we still have morning dew - so it is a good idea to make sure your seating is stored somewhere dry until the day of the service. If you are having hay bales I suggest you cover them with picnic blankets or cloth of some kind as hay really irritates your legs!
2) Weather . We cant get away from the impact the weather has on an outdoor ceremony. Make sure that you are not holding your service in a wind tunnel and that if the heavens do open, you have some form of shelter or alternative location (quite often a marquee type area). Please do remember that rain can blow sideways so a gazebo is not always enough.
3) Attire . If you do not have any paved areas then heels are a no go. Ensure the bridal party and guests are aware. If you like the idea of a really relaxed or festival feel to your wedding then encourage your guests to wear wellies - they look great and you could even go as far as having a glam wellie theme to your day.
4) Getting to the venue . If the ground is soft then cars can quite easily get stuck in the mud. Look for a well drained area as a car park or you could offer a mini bus service to the site from a better parking site or nearest town/village. Think also about how the bridal party will arrive.

5) Decoration - do you want the area for the ceremony to be simple or will you want to decorate it? You can get garden arches (some do come in a kit type form) that you can put up, on their own they are rather basic, but with either fresh or silk flowers on them they can make a beautiful focal point for your ceremony and look stunning in your photos. Bunting through trees/bushes also looks effective, but it really does depend upon your location. There are so many options I cannot go through them all. The inside of the marquee is another area you may wish to consider decorating.
With decoration also think about lighting for the evening - and that you will need some form of power to ensure that guests can find their way around the site.
6) Covered area . You are likely to want some kind of covered area, this can serve as a plan B for the location of the ceremony, (weather proofing)or as a bar area and/or a seating area for your meal. It also serves you well for the evening party when the temperature can drop and the damp can set in. A lot of couples will have a marquee either with the bar inside or in another gazebo/tented area. Ensure that caterers can get power to their equipment - (if required) and that you can run a PA/disco system (or for the band if you are having one) you will also need some kind of lighting. (most marquee companies have a ban on any naked flame - including candles). Marquee's are one option, others prefer tented areas and you can get some magnificent tipis that can be joined together depending on the size you need.
7) Gathering areas . Your guest will want to mingle and chat so ensure you leave space for this, you might like to provide some seating areas for the evening and away from the tipi/marquee maybe a fire pit or something similar (not close to hay bales!) where your guests can take time out from the party. (Having some marshmallows and skewers near by is normally a big hit!)
8) Loos . Don't forget the call of nature! Porta-loos are the cheapest option, some venues who are 'set up' for weddings will have a toilet block or you can hire 'event toilet units' which are 'proper' toilets and can include baby changing facilities.
9) Flow . Make sure your areas flow and make sense. You don't want the loos or the bar too far from the main entertainment areas.

I am not a wedding planner and so there are loads more things for you to plan and consider such as entertainment, catering, accommodation (local hotels or camping/glamping on site), where the bride/groom will get ready, etc. but I hope this basic guide helps you to consider how you can achieve your dream outdoor wedding.

You will not be able to have a Registrar at an outdoor ceremony as they require a fixed structure to be legally binding, so a Celebrant (such as myself) is the perfect option for your Wedding day - with none of the ties of the church or registrar I can help you to create your perfect ceremony tailored to you precise wishes.

Get in touch for an informal no-obligation chat about your dream wedding day. With Love, Amanda Jane x

Wedding season is in full swing

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Mon, 24 Jul 2017 09:18:06 GMT

What can you do to make yours stand out?

Welcome! It is lovely to have you reading another of my blogs. Today I am focusing on Weddings - but this includes Commitment ceremonies, Engagement ceremonies and Renewal of Vows too so if you are in any of those categories, or know someone who is - keep reading!

I think we all want our big day to be unique to us, there are parts of tradition that we might like to keep such as walking down the aisle or exchanging rings, but more and more couples are looking for their 'own stamp' on their wedding day, something that you do not see elsewhere. So today I want to bring in a few ideas for you to consider, some are subtle - others are not!

Lets look at the subtle ideas first:
Including Grandparents in your day - perhaps they do not want to, or cannot be a part of your ceremony but you can still bring their influence in to your day. How about photos of them on their wedding day displayed at your reception venue? You could (where appropriate) include wedding photos of your parents, aunts/uncles, brothers and sisters etc. - so that your day shares their joy too. Subtle but beautiful!

A Reading - this doesn't necessarily need to be a religious reading, it could be a tribute to the couple, the story of how they met or a favourite poem, or song lyrics read as a poem. How about including someone close to you to become a part of the ceremony and do a reading for you? Family member or friend - the choice is yours.

Just a couple of small, subtle suggestions for you there, I will cover off some more in another blog soon, so do keep checking back. Now lets take a step forward to something a little more 'different'!

Sing song anyone ? Are you a couple who like to sing? Are you often found at a Karaoke night with your mates doing your rendition of Beyoncé or Neil Diamond - hey, I'm not going to pass judgement on your singing, trust me! If this sounds like you - then why not bring it in to your ceremony? Without too much fuss we can include a karaoke style 'performance' to your service. Whether its just the two of you or the whole congregation! If that is a step too far then how about having someone sing for you as a part of your service, or maybe a musician?

A small service - Hmm, now this might sound the opposite of what you were thinking, but if the idea of having 50+ people watching you reading your vows sounds intimidating then why have the big ceremony? Smaller, intimate weddings are beautiful and can remove a lot of the pressure for those of us who are not keen on the limelight! You can still have the big reception afterwards to include everyone, but keep an intimate ceremony.

Lets move on another step - this wont be for many of you!

A Themed Wedding ? It could be a 1930's inspiration, Victorian look, based on a famous wedding (throne anyone?) or stepping up again how about Disney inspired? With the princess dress and cake - right through to Star Wars, or a Country and Western themed day, Barbie and Ken - the list is as endless as your imagination! Whether you take a slither of inspiration or whether you go all out - themed weddings do give your day a 'twist'.

Ok, so I did say the last one wasn't for many of you! What I want to put across is that a Celebrant led, non-legal wedding gives you complete freedom to get married where and when you want, and include as little or as much as you like.

I will be back to blogging more regularly now so keep checking back for more Wedding ideas, Naming ceremony information and of course ideas and information for Funeral Services.

If you want to know any more about what I do, or want to discuss a Ceremony that you are considering then please get in touch for an informal and no-obligation chat. Contact details are on the website and I am on Facebook.

Speak soon! With love from Amanda Jane
http://amandajaneceremonies.co.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/

Topic of the week - Weddings!

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Sun, 19 Feb 2017 18:41:19 GMT

I want to get married, what are my options?

Getting married is a big commitment and a huge undertaking, but it is equally one of the most memorable and wonderful days of our life. If you are recently engaged (congratulations) or thinking about getting married this blog is to help you understand your options.

Currently in England, there are only two ways to get legally married, the first option is to marry in church, the second option is to use a Registrar.

Getting married in a Church is picturesque, traditional and in some communities is the norm. If you have religious belief this may well be the best option for you - if you feel being married within your religion is of the upmost importance to you, then start by talking to your local Clergy member. (I use those terms to incorporate all faiths)

Using a Registrar - there are two ways of doing this, firstly is via the Registry office. You need to submit your applications and proof of your ID and residency (if required) to enable you to be legally wed, The service is short, there are some restrictions on content and music, but if you just want a fuss free legal ceremony without the 'big day', then a Registry office wedding may be for you. It is the cheapest way to be legally married in England.

Registrars can also come out to venues where a Wedding Licence is held, there are restrictions on where in the venue you can hold your service and again music can be limited during the ceremony. The service time is short, the script is legally binding and therefore set, and the fee for the Registrar is higher than if you went to the Registry office, the venue may also charge a further premium for having the Ceremony on their property.

So there are your 2 legal options, but there is another way! YOUR way!
Celebrants can give you the ceremony of your dreams. We can hold your service anywhere that you wish (as long as the owners permission is given) whenever you would like it, indoors or out, big or small, elaborate or simple. You can have the music that you want, you can have the words that you would like to say (as long as there is nothing hateful or distasteful) - write your own vows or promises or have the Celebrant help you with this. You can have rituals such as Sand Ceremonies or Hand-fasting's.
You can incorporate friends or family, you can have musicians, dancers, speakers - let your creativity flow! You can have the service as short or as long as you wish, you can be traditionally dressed, have a themed weddings, get hitched in your jeans or dress as Chip and Dale - the options are endless!

Most Celebrants cost significantly less than a registrar who attends a Licenced venue - so a lot of couples are now choosing to have a private Registry office marriage to be legally married and then they are having their wedding day with a Celebrant in exactly the way they would like it to be.

Celebrants are also very popular with couples who have married abroad but who want a second Ceremony for their family and friends.

For more information check out my Wedding page, feel free to give me a call or email me with any questions:
amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com
You can also find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies
With Love
Amanda Jane x

The weekly round up!

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Mon, 13 Feb 2017 10:24:27 GMT

Here's what I have been up to!

Well it did try to snow didn't it - I love watching it, but glad it didn't settle as I have spent a lot of time in North Cornwall this week - and I wouldn't fancy driving there in the snow.

On Monday I had two funerals - unusual for me to do two in one day as I prefer not to, but I was personally asked for and so really wanted to be there for the families. The services were chalk and cheese, first I helped a small but lovely family say goodbye to a wonderful lady in her 90's. Wow did that lady have life sussed, she really understood what was important and what wasn't! We gave her a beautiful service.

I then had the sad honour of officiating at a baby's funeral in the afternoon - always tough, they never get easier. I helped a lovely young couple (no names as always) to say their goodbye to their stillborn son in the way that they wanted to. Some people say to me 'how can you do that, I would be in bits', and my answer to them is, 'I am supporting and helping that couple through one of, if not the, worst types of goodbye you can say - to your child. It is outside of the normal order of life and there is no comfort I can give, but I can support them through it and make that final goodbye the best it can be. It is beyond sad and I have to look at the wall and swallow hard a great deal of the time, but the family need me to get them through it, and that keeps me going. '

There was of course other funeral work in the week, all of which is as important to me, but on the Monday it was the two ends of the age range that struck me and that I wanted to share with you.

All of the funerals that I hold are an honour and privilege, to be put in that position of trust is humbling and every single one of the services, and the family's that I help mean a great deal to me.

I met with further families - all in the North Cornwall area this week to help prepare the services for their loved ones funerals in the upcoming weeks.

On a lighter note I had a wonderful and very exciting meeting closer to home near Barnstaple, with a lovely couple to plan their Wedding Ceremony with me for later in the year - I always get so excited, to bring a couple together in love and commitment is such a pleasure. Every one of my Wedding Ceremony scripts is different, because every couple are different and what is important to the couple is different every time too - bringing those elements to life within a Ceremony and making it so unique and personalised is a joy.

Finally, I also had a meeting with a family for a naming ceremony for two young sisters, this will be a beautiful event over in Torrington, where we formally introduce the girl's names, make wishes for their futures and make promises to them (some prefer the term 'intentions') surrounded by their family and friends. For those of you who aren't aware, a naming ceremony has different purposes. In the main people refer to them as 'Baby Naming' a non- religious or non-church based service that is tailored to the wishes and dynamics of the family. But naming services are for any age. If a person changes their name there can be the desire for some kind of ceremony to mark the importance of the new name. Adoption is another life event that can be marked with a naming ceremony.

So that was my week, and shows you some of the different elements that I support people with. I hope you found that interesting, yes the other website is still on its way, that is a site that gives information on funeral options as I have found most people do not know what they 'could' of done until after the funeral is over.
The site is designed to read when someone has passed away and gives you the options that you have so that you can make an informed decision before you start the Funeral process(es). The site is almost there but my priority is always with the families that I work with, so the Website does keep getting pushed back - but it will be with you soon!

If you have any questions about my work, would like to chat something through or find out more about the role of a Celebrant then please do get in touch. Please take a look at my Facbook page too: https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/
With Love
Amanda Jane x

Farewell January

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Mon, 30 Jan 2017 09:26:24 GMT

A round up on January

January - doesn't it just go on forever? We are almost there, the month is almost up and we can start to look forward to Spring. Already we can see the evenings starting to draw out which always lifts my spirits. So what did I do in January? In the main it was funeral based.

I have helped families to say 'the Right Goodbye' to their loved ones and had my first double Funeral of a Husband and Wife who passed away 10 days apart and both in their 90s. We had a beautiful service with their coffins placed side by side flanked in the most stunning red roses.

I did of course do Crematorium work but another service that stood out for me this month was a 2 part service. We started with a Green Burial at the beautiful (but very wet) Mole Valley Green Burial site followed by a Celebration of Life Ceremony at a local village hall. We had speakers, singing, guitar playing, had video messages, slideshow of photos and heard all about the amazing life of a local man (I never print names on my website). We also got to raise a glass together to this lovely man which is a special thing to do and not something you get to do in a Church or Crematorium service.

My other website is coming along, but I do need to give this more of my time to get it up and running. That website will tell you all about your options when arranging a funeral. There are so many options and many of them are not offered to you, but, are available if you ask for them. One of them is where to hold your service - you do not have to have the service in a Church or Crematorium, you can have the service anywhere that will host, and is accessible with the coffin. That opens a whole host of possibilities for a truly unique service and also then allows for a private committal if the family do not want a large gathering for that private moment.

It is always an honour and privilege to support a family through this very difficult time, I am always humbled that they choose me to lead the Ceremony. I have very recently been told I was 'made' for this role and the person wanted to know what had led me to this as I had a clear passion to make the service the best it could be, and so I thought I would share that with you all. I came in to the Funeral industry - specifically as a Celebrant, after a close member of my family passed away - the funeral was ok, but it wasn't quite 'right'. It affected me, I felt no family should leave a funeral thinking something was missing or wasn't quite right and I couldn't shake that feeling. Having worked for many years with people in vulnerable situations and supporting them through some very difficult times in their life I felt I had the 'life skills' to enable me to be a fantastic Celebrant. I went and did training (very important) and I am fully Diploma qualified for Funerals including Baby and Child services. I haven't looked back - I cannot call it a job because it is far more than that and ensuring that the family that I come alongside has the best farewell for their loved one is something I am passionate about. I limit the amount of services I take to ensure that I am always focused on the family.

I have also taken new bookings for Weddings and got to see the fabulous Fox and Hounds at Eggesford where I will be uniting a lovely couple in love and commitment later this year.

Happy New Year!

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Thu, 05 Jan 2017 10:48:33 GMT

Quick catch up

I apologise for the massive break in my blogging. It has been a busy few weeks preparing for Christmas and the New Year and here we are again already in January. A new year, a time of new beginnings and for a number of couples I am working with the year you get married! I am so excited to be a part of your dream days, thank you for the honour of being your Wedding Celebrant.

So did any of you get asked the 'BIG question' at Christmas or New Years? If so, it is never too early to think about your dream day, check out the wedding page on this website for some of your options, but please feel free to call me to discuss how you want your day to look and I will happily give you some hints and tips to help you on your way.

Of course its not all about Weddings, I am a Funeral Celebrant too and this is where most of my time is spent helping families to plan how they want the service for their loved one to look and then I put everything together for them. I write the service, help those who wish to speak organise their words, I sort out the music and photo and liaise with the Funeral Director (if one is being used) to help pull everything together and reduce the stress to the family. Above all I ensure that the service is what the family want and need, and support them through that process as best I can.

It's a tough but rewarding thing to do, I couldn't ever call it a job or career because it is much more than that. I have a deep belief that EVERYONE deserves a good send off, and EVERY family need to have 'the Right Goodbye' for their loved one and that is always at the core of everything that I do with and for every family. I am so passionate about this I am developing my new website called 'The Right Goodbye'. It is not up and running yet as there is a LOT of content to go on there, but as soon as it is I will announce it for you. The website will contain lots of information to help anyone arranging a funeral, whether you want to do everything yourself, use a Funeral Director or plan your own funeral, my site will guide you through all of your options and put you in a position where you are better able to make the arrangements.

SO WATCH THIS SPACE!
As always, if you have any questions feel free to call, email, or send me a Facebook message. https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/
With Love
Amanda Jane x

Helping those affected by grief

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Tue, 15 Nov 2016 11:39:00 GMT

How to help someone who has lost a loved one

I think we can all understand that losing someone we love must be one of the worst experiences a person can go through in life. How can we help someone in that situation? What do we say or do? If we know someone who has recently been bereaved and they are walking towards us, what can we say that doesn't sound insincere or inept?

I am not a bereavement counsellor, but I have sourced some information points over a few months now and have brought these together in a useful guide.
The Worst Things to Say to Someone in Grief
1 At least she lived a long life, many people die young.
2 He is in a better place.
3 She brought this on herself.
4 There is a reason for everything.
5 Aren’t you over him yet, he has been dead for awhile now.
6 You can have another child still.
7 She was such a good person God wanted her to be with him.
8 I know how you feel.
9 She did what she came here to do and it was her time to go.
10 Be strong.
The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief
1 I am so sorry for your loss.
2 I wish I had the right words, just know I care.
3 I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in anyway I can.
4 You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
5 My favourite memory of your loved one is….
6 I am always just a phone call away.
7 Give a hug instead of saying something.
8 We all need help at times like this, I am here for you.
9 I am usually up early or late, if you need anything.
10 Saying nothing, just be with the person.

Now you can take something from the 'worst things to say' list and it still be right for the situation - someone with deep faith talking to a member of the clergy would take comfort from knowing their loved one is in a better place. Someone who doesn't hold that belief would not welcome such a comment. So just think about where you are coming from in what you say, remember that you cant fix this, you cant rationalise why the death has happened you are just looking to be supportive and recognise the persons loss.

We have all found ourselves saying 'If there is anything I can do to help just let me know'. That is not a bad thing to say, it is showing our support and willingness to help, but, if you do know someone well enough to help, don't offer - do! Take round some dinner, help clear up at the wake, ask if you can do the School run, arrange to walk the dog, ask for a shopping list - etc. The person can still say no if they are uncomfortable but rather than putting the onus on them to contact you, you are putting yourself forward on a practical level. Not many people find it easy to ask for help!

Be prepared for a wide range of emotions. There are many different levels to grief and there is no set pattern, no right or wrong way for them to come out. Emotions such as anger, hopelessness, guilt (even when we cant understand why the person feels guilty), despair, etc. can all be present at different times. Someone can look to be 'getting the hang of it' and then have a massive back-step into despair. They can be frightened, feel isolated and vulnerable as well as lonely. There is no set path and no set time scale for grief. As previously said, we shouldn't try to fix it, rationalise anything or place our expectations on the grieving person.

So I hope that helps! Having something in mind to say is always a plus. The grieving person is likely to be grateful for your words or actions. So many people do not get in touch with the bereaved person because they do not know what to say. Making what is already a horrendous situation even harder to deal with and even more lonely.

I am a Celebrant and not a bereavement counsellor and so I sourced this information from helpguide.org and healyourlige.org - neither of which I am associated with in any way. Information can also be found on websites such as dyingmatters.org and for someone to talk to: cruse.org.uk. There are many other organisations with lots of useful information.

For more information on my work please check out my facebook page and website:
https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/
http://www.amandajaneceremonies.co.uk/
With love
Amanda Jane xx

This weeks update

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Fri, 04 Nov 2016 18:46:26 GMT

So where did the time go?

Hi everyone, hope you are all well and enjoying this lovely Autumnal sunshine! I have had a real mix of a week, spending some much treasured time with family but also three main threads to my business.

Firstly my new website - I am working on a site to help everyone when having to organise a funeral. Its taking me longer than I expected so bear with me but the site will help anyone who has been bereaved to navigate their choices on a local level and I am hoping it helps lots of you families in the Barnstaple, Ilfracombe, Tiverton, South Molton, Torrington, Holsworthy, Bude and Bideford areas. The site will cover your options in regard to different elements of the funeral process, from who you want to organise the whole funeral, to what your options are in regard to the officiant, transport, different ideas for music etc. the list goes on! Because there is such a lot of content it is taking me a while to get my head around how best to lay it out!

The second thread this week has been meeting lovely couples who are planning their weddings! Congrats guys, I wont name you (as I don't have your permission to do so) but you know who you are and I am super excited to be helping you to create your dream wedding ceremonies! Being a Civil Celebrant is wonderful, and an honour, because I can create a totally unique ceremony for you to truly reflect your commitment and love for one another. There are no boundaries to my service (but I will never wear hot pants, not for anyone!). I am the Martini girl of the Wedding world - Any time, Any place, Any where! Take whatever photos you want to, listen to whatever music suits you, say the words that reflect your true feelings for one another, take as long as you need, wear whatever you want to - whether you are a traditional wedding couple or want to be Chip and Dale - the choices are all yours to make and the dreams are all yours to come true!

The third area of my work has of course been the planning and delivering of Funerals. As the demand for my service grows so I meet more and more wonderful families. You all have a special place in my heart.
It is my greatest wish to make sure that every family has the right goodbye for their loved one, whether that's in words, songs, hymns, prayers, readings, speakers, singers, poetry - whatever is the right mix for the family to feel that their beloved has had the best send off possible. We've even done Karaoke! We work together to create a bespoke ceremony which can contain as little or as much spiritual content as you wish, and we ensure that you have the music and words that reflects the person who has passed away. My new website is going to be such a help to everyone who is about to have to organise a funeral. I will get it up and running for you asap!

So that is me for now, please go to my Celebrancy website: http://www.amandajaneceremonies.co.uk/ for more about the services that I offer as a Celebrant and also check out my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/

I will post the new website as soon as it is completed. Take care everyone, with Love, Amanda Jane x

Are you Engaged? What are your next steps?

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 10:38:15 GMT

So much to think about!

Congratulations, you are getting married! Wow its such an exciting time - so much to think about and plan for your Wedding. I was recently helping a young couple with their checklist on what they will need for their big day and the sheer volume of planning became overwhelming for them. So I wanted to give some advice and a few tips to help your planning along and having got married myself just over a year ago perhaps some insight to help.
1. Remember this is YOUR wedding! It is so easy to get caught up with what family and friends think your day should contain, but this is your Wedding Day, the start of your Marriage, so make sure the two of you set the boundaries early on and stick to your decisions. Set the date, the venue, the numbers, the feel of the service, discuss how elaborate or simple you want it to be. If you have a clear idea of how you want your day to be this reduces the amount of 'opinions' you will be given.
2. Being a Celebrant I have to bring this in as tip number 2 - what kind of Ceremony do you want? You have four options, Church, Registry office, Registrar at a Hotel/Stately home where there is a wedding licence or have your service with a Celebrant wherever you like, on whatever day, inside or out, big or small, simple or elaborate, traditional or flamboyant - whatever you want your Ceremony to look like I can help you to make that dream a reality. You will need me to talk you through how it all works, so if you feel this option is for you then give me a call (details at the end).
3. What is your budget? A really important consideration and not one I will give an opinion on, but Weddings can get very expensive (they don't have to be) so think about your finances.
4. Book!! You will be amazed at how far in advance venues, officiants, cake makers, florists and DJ's etc. will be booked so once you have sorted the date and you have ironed out where you want everything to take place. Book your desired suppliers especially your venue for the Ceremony and the Breakfast/Evening party.
5. Dress shopping. Its fun but can get stressful. I would advise that you let the person at the shop guide you, they will know instantly what will suit you and have you looking your best. It is so easy to go in with a scrap book full of pictures of dresses that you love, but if those styles do not suit you it can feel like a real let down - so I guess what I am saying is its great to have an idea of what you want, but go with an open mind. Take with you the people who will give you an honest opinion and helpful comments.
6. Bridesmaids - always a tricky one, where do you draw the line? I would get this decided in step 1! If your wedding is over a year away you have plenty of time to decide. I lost my MOH on my Hen weekend, it was awful. I suddenly realised that this best friend was not actually quite the person I thought she was to me, I didn't mean as much to her as she did to me and our friendship abruptly ended, so I asked my Sister to step in - who, it turned out, was who I should of asked in the first place. Its a good thing Bridesmaids dresses can be quite easily altered and she totally did me proud - so it all works out, try not to panic. Best man - another one to be decided in step 1!
7. Decide on : Flowers, cake, table decorations, photographer, invites, shoes, bridesmaid dresses, suits, hair, make up, nails, favours, flowers for Mums, speeches, DJ, food (if not within the venue you have booked) - the list goes on and you can make it as simple or as intricate as you want to...visiting Wedding Fair's can be great as you get to meet the people who provide the service, this is how I got my photographer.
8. Make a plan! Wedding planner books can be useful but I just had a notebook with me at all times, if I saw something I liked or had some inspiration I wrote it down - really glad I had that or I would have lost my mind. I also broke the tasks down in to manageable chunks so I didn't get overwhelmed with how much there was to do. Whoever said 'to-do' lists are a sign of bad management skills hasn't planned a Wedding!
9. ENJOY IT. Yes, Wedding planning can be stressful, but it doesn't have to be. Keep in mind why you are doing all of this and be realistic - something will probably go wrong, everyone involved is human so if something goes slightly off kilter brush it off and concentrate on the main point of the day - to marry the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. I wouldn't change a thing about my day, we were really laid back. The cake was a disaster but so what, it was just a cake and once it was cut up it was scrummy - which is actually what it is for! Keep yourself grounded and try not to get swept away with the notion that everything has to be perfect. I loved making my own favours and table decorations - I found an artistic side to me I didn't know existed and it made the day more personal and kept the costs down.

So, there are a few tips from me, above all remember it's YOUR day, have it YOUR way. Enjoy your planning and remain realistic. No Bridezillas or Groomzillas (yes they do exist) required!

To find out more about your options for your Wedding Ceremony in Devon, Somerset and North Cornwall, check out my face book page and my Weddings page on my Website. I am a Diploma trained Celebrant living in Barnstaple in the heart of North Devon. I cover an area including Launceston, Bodmin, Bude, Holsworthy, Exeter, Crediton, over to Lynton and Ilfracombe with Tiverton, South Molton, Bideford and Torrington in the middle. I also cover West Somerset in places such as Taunton and Minehead. If you live outside of these areas please still get in touch, depending where you are I may still be able to be your Minister for your Wedding Day.
https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/
http://www.amandajaneceremonies.co.uk/WeddingCelebrant
Feel free to give me a call for a chat - no obligation.
With Love
Amanda Jane x

What I have learned this week

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Fri, 14 Oct 2016 09:41:41 GMT

Here is something we can all learn from

I have been working with more lovely families this week from all over North Devon, specifically Barnstaple, Bideford, Torrington, Appledore and South Molton, helping them to create meaningful and bespoke funeral services. That last farewell is so important and when it is done in line with the families wishes can help to ease some of the pain that the family and friends go through. And so this leads me on to my lesson for this week, and its not a new lesson but is definitely a reminder that I want to bring you all back to. HOW do your loved ones know what is the right goodbye for you? I hear over and over again families saying along the lines of, 'he said chuck me in the river, he wont be there to care, but now I have to try and work out what is the right service for him, where do I start?' So I want you to consider your family. YOU can make your funeral easier on them if they know what your wishes are. So here is what you need to consider:
1. Do you want to be buried or cremated. Under UK law at this time those are your two main options (Alkaline Hydrolysis is not widely available in the UK). If you opt for burial do you want a standard burial or a green burial?
2.Do you want a specific Funeral Director? If so, let your family know. You do not have to have one, but the preparation, storing and moving of the deceased is a lot harder without them, also they are really good for taking away the stress of all of the arrangements.
3. What kind of coffin do you want? Cardboard, wood, plain or one with images on it? Wicker? Wool?
4. Where do you want your service? You do not have to have the service in a church, chapel or Crematorium. You can have the service anywhere that the coffin will be hosted and that is accessible. So, if you want your service at the local football ground, as long as they will allow the coffin to be present then you can have your service there.
5. Who do you want to officiate at your service - you have options. If you are a religious person you would probably (although not always) want a member of the clergy to officiate at your funeral, Their service will be about your relationship with God and the words of the religion that confirm this. If you do not want any religion or any spiritual content then you might like a Humanist. They believe that there is nothing other than the life we live, we are born, we die and that is it - so they will not sing hymns or say prayers or mention any kind of afterlife or that you are 'back with' someone who has already passed away. Your third option is a Celebrant, a Civil Funeral Celebrant can include as little or as much religious or spiritual content as you wish. Most importantly our services are focused on the life of the deceased person.
6. Orders of Service - do you want any? Do you want to make them yourself or have the Funeral Director do this for you?
7. Flowers - do you want them? What will happen to them afterwards? If you have arrangements rather than wreaths these can be more easily re-arranged afterwards. (This is more for cremation than burial)
8. Transport - how do you want to arrive, a standard hearse is not your only option. Motorcycle sidecar hearses, horse drawn hearses or VW camper vans are just a few of your options - if you are linked to transport you could even arrive on something specific to that - as long as the coffin is easily accessible. How will the family get there, would you like them in their own cars or a limo?
9. Music, this is the one I get asked about a LOT - what music should we play? Try and leave an indication of at least 3 pieces of music you would like to be played. And yes I have heard some odd requests and I have even had a family singing karaoke!
10. Do you want any hymns or prayers? 90% of the families I work with ask for the Lords Prayer but do not want a fully religious service. A celebrant can give you that balance, but if you don't want us to say any prayers for you - make sure your family knows.
11. Dress code - do you want everyone to wear a certain colour?
12. Would you like a photo present at the Catafalque (where the coffin sits). A lot of Crematorium chapels also offer the facilities to have slideshows of photos or videos played during the service, so you could even record your own video to play to those at your service. You could have this arranged for an alternative venue too.
12. Donations - do you want donations to be taken on the day? If yes, which charity would you like the money to go to?
13. Gathering - do you want a wake? If so where? Do you want to put a 'round in' for everyone so they can have a drink on you?
14. Finally and very importantly for those left behind, how much is this all going to cost and how will it be paid for? If you are able to make some provision for your funeral this will help to relieve your loved ones of the financial burden.

Dying matters is a fantastic source of information on all things death related so I recommend you check out their website.

So lots to think about. If you want to talk to me about any of this, perhaps you want to consider your own funeral (I do help those with life-limiting illnesses) or if you just want to know more about your options then check out my website and facebook page. With Love, Amanda Jane x
http://www.amandajaneceremonies.co.uk/funeralcelebrant
https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/

Another week goes by! Funerals and Weddings

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Fri, 07 Oct 2016 17:43:23 GMT

All my news from the past week

Its been another busy week ! Today I did a burial at Fremington Cemetery, located between Barnstaple and Bideford. This was a graveside service and the family gave beautiful tributes, the service was bespoke and unique to them to allow them to have the Ceremony that they wanted in the way that would reflect and be respectful to their mother. In the final moments of the service we were stood away from the grave, giving the family some private space and time. They listened to their mothers favourite piece of music and said afterwards it was wonderful to have those last moments in such tranquility.

I would like you to consider what makes a good funeral? is it how long it goes on for, or how many hymns are sung? No, it is the quality of what is said that is the most important and making sure the words of those closest to the deceased are heard. How many times have you been to a funeral and have come away feeling you didn't really hear much about the person who had passed away? I ensure all of my services are focused on the deceased and their family - it is their words that are the most important.

I also officiated over a baby funeral this week - no words can convey the grief felt, but the service was exactly how the family wanted it to be, we listened to poems and songs that verbalised their emotions and they were an amazing couple. I have to say well done to the Crematorium staff who set up the chapel to be fitting for a child's service .

Just two examples of very different funerals that I have had the privilege of being a part of this week, as a Celebrant I include as little or as much religion as is wanted and a burial does not change that.
I have also had 2 couples confirm their wedding ceremonies with me this week and I very much look forward to building their dream days, the sand ceremony is confirmed for one and if you would like more information on this hop on over to the weddings tab, or you can find more information on my facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies .

Thank you to those families who have taken the time to email me with their thanks for the services I have taken for them. Here is just one of them from this week:
Thank you for today Amanda everyone said it was just the way ***** would have wanted it . Thank you for helping me to understand why my brother would go off on his own. I will recommend you for your caring and understanding Thank you so much ***
I've removed names for privacy.
have a lovely weekend everyone, and as always if you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me either through the website, by email or via Facebook.
I am off now to write more Funeral Services for families I am helping over the next two weeks.
With love, Manda x

The much loved Denny Pilon

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Sat, 01 Oct 2016 16:53:59 GMT

Always an honour

On Friday 30th September I aided the Pilon family to say their farewells to the lovely Denny. Every funeral is special to me, but Denny's was very different. There were around 200 bikes seeing him on his way from his home to the North Devon Crematorium in Barnstaple. The engines revved as his coffin was carried in to the Rowan Chapel by members of his family and friends and on committal we had another bike rev the engine again to see him off! The noise in the Crematorium car park was immense! What a wonderful send off for a wonderful man - and how fitting for his family to have such treasured memories of how much Denny meant to everyone around him. I am humbled and feel privileged to have played a part in this wonderful service. Not forgetting the wonderful Jack Cornell from WS Gayton and Son Ltd - you can see him peering out riding pillion with Steve who is Denny's best friend and led the procession.
Hop over to my Facebook page for more pictures and videos of the procession and bike revving.
https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/

Green Funerals

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Fri, 23 Sep 2016 14:11:27 GMT

Would you consider this?

Check out this article and see what you think. https://www.facebook.com/huffpostuklifestyle/videos/1019133604852107/
Would you like a Green Funeral? How would you like your service to look? Pop over to my website for more information on Funerals and call me for an informal chat.
http://www.amandajaneceremonies.co.uk/funeralcelebrant

The North Devon Wedding Show

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Tue, 20 Sep 2016 07:57:05 GMT

Sunday 25th September 11am-3pm

Just to let you all know that I am getting ready for this wonderful show. I will be there to talk to all of you lovely couples about your dream wedding day and how you want your ceremony to look. I am also doing a free prize draw on the day so make sure you pop by and enter!

Lets talk about Funerals.

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Thu, 15 Sep 2016 11:59:56 GMT

Why don't we plan for our own Ceremony?

We spend so much time and money planning our Wedding - why then, do we not put any thought or planning in to our Funeral?
Some people do put money aside, or have insurance or a Funeral Plan to cover the expenses of their Funeral Service and that is a positive thing to do for your family - but do they know your last wishes?
On a daily basis I meet families who are struggling to know what their deceased loved one would have liked in their service, it is a very stressful time and trying to second guess what was Mum's favourite song or where did Mum and Dad meet or would they want a hymn, it all adds pressure to an already difficult time.
So without selling my own services to you I urge you all to have a chat to your loved ones about what you would like in your Funeral Service, or write down some ideas and put it with your will. Please do not write 'do what you like' as your family will still struggle to try and guess what you would have wanted because they want to give you a 'proper' send off.
Remember also, that your Funeral Service doesn't have to be in a Church, Chapel or Crematorium - you can have a Celebrant attend at home, in the garden, even on the beach (as long as the Funeral Director can get the coffin in to the location you have requested) and commit your loved one to the hearse rather than watch a burial or go to the Crematorium.
There are so many options, please give me a call if you would like to talk any of this through.
With love, Amanda Jane x

Unity Ceremonies

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 11:09:28 GMT

Celtic Handfasting - what is it?

Unity Rituals are a wonderful addition to any Wedding Ceremony. They are of huge significance in pledging your intention and commitment towards one another and give your day that extra 'wow' factor. Let me talk you through the first of these rituals.
Celtic Handfasting.
Ever heard the saying 'tying the knot'? Well this is where it comes from!
You have pre-plaited or individual cords or ribbons, the ritual can be adapted to however you want it to look so you could state your vows or intentions to one another on the tie of each cord, or, you could have the significance of the colour to bond you eg. red -May your marriage be blessed with Passion, Strength and Vitality.
Either I tie the cords, or, if you wish you could include another member of the congregation, someone special to you, to be a part of this service, Children, Grandparents, special friends - whoever 'feels right'.
I then tie my Celtic cord around you both to signify that you are now bonded in love and commitment and that no one can 'undo' the bond you have made.
You can build your whole ceremony around the Handfasting or include it as a smaller part of your Wedding.
If this sounds like something you would like to include in your Big Day, then call or email me for an informal chat.

Where do you want to get married?

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Fri, 09 Sep 2016 09:46:28 GMT

You have more choice than you think!

Where would you really like to be when you make your commitment to one another? In a church, a registry office, a room in hotel - or would you fancy something like this as your backdrop? I can help you to create your perfect ceremony. Get in touch for more information.

Why choose a Wedding Blessing?

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 09:29:16 GMT

What options do I have for my wedding ceremony

There are two ways to be legally married in England, the first is via the Church, the second is with a Registrar. For those who do not wish to have a church service but who want a more bespoke ceremony than a Registrar can deliver then a Wedding blessing with a Civil Celebrant is the answer.

A Celebrant cannot legally marry you under UK law, so there is still the need to 'sign the paperwork' and the most cost effective way to do this is at the local registry office, the cost will be around £50. That then leaves you free to have whatever ceremony you want! Where would you like your dream ceremony? In a barn, a marquee or tipi, on the beach, in a park, in the pub, in your family home or garden, on the football pitch - the list is as big as your imagination!

You can of course have a legal wedding with a registrar at a licensed venue, these tend to be hotels or stately buildings and the registrar alone will cost you £350-£600, and that is without the cost of the room. There are boundaries with a registrars service, there is a certain script that they must follow, the service is around 7 minutes long, it can only be in specific rooms that are pre-licensed, and you cannot take pictures during the service - also they can make no mention of any spiritual or religious words in the service and your music also cannot contain any spiritual or religious wording.

So, if you want to do your own thing, have a totally unique ceremony that is built specifically around you as a couple and your relationship, and of course create your dream wedding day exactly as you want it - get in touch!

My stand at Awakened

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Tue, 30 Aug 2016 09:07:14 GMT

The range of Ceremonies that I offer on display

You will have noticed from my website and Facebook page that I was at the Awakened Event at Tapeley Park over the gorgeous bank holiday weekend. Here is a picture of my stall which gives you a chance to see some of my service information in a more visual format. As always, if you have any questions please email, call or send me a message on my Facebook page. Look forward to hearing from you. Now back to work for me - with couples wanting to book their Wedding Blessing with me and Funeral services to arrange.

Awakened!

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Fri, 26 Aug 2016 08:17:57 GMT

Holistic and Healing event this weekend

Today I am getting ready to attend the Awakened Event which is being held at Tapeley Park, Instow, Near Bideford. From Saturday through to tea time on Monday. At just £6 entrance per day why not come along and find out more about my services and check out all of the other exhibitor stands and workshops.

This Week

amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com (Amanda St John) — Fri, 19 Aug 2016 14:29:51 GMT

First Blog Post!

Hi everyone. My first blog post! So I thought I would just let you know what I have been up to this week, really busy preparing for the Awakened Event at Tapeley Park on the Bank Holiday weekend. More Funerals booked which is always sad, but, at the same time it is a real honour to ensure that the ceremonies I provide bring peace to the family who know the send off was perfect for them and the person who has passed away.
Keith and I have, at last, been to see the lovely Alan Schofield who was our wedding photographer. The pictures are stunning and we had a bit of a task picking our favourites. Alan not only took stunning pictures but he was a massive part of our day and helped kept everything running smoothly - that included helping me in to my dress and adjusting a few button holes at the church! Alan, we cannot thank you enough.
I will post once a week just to let you know what is going on and give you some things to think about should you be having a baby, getting married or preparing to say goodbye to a loved one.