No one really 'likes' to think about their own demise, it is something we look to avoid for as long as possible! However, it is a certainty in life that we all will die at some point, the variables include when that will be but the fact remains that all living things must pass away.

When that moment comes, it is the people left behind that have to organise your funeral.   For some families there is frank and open discussion and your wishes are known and can be upheld, but when you haven't had 'that' conversation then it can be a stressful time trying to guess at what you would want them to do, often not helped by others trying to guide with 'well you should'...

I know not everyone is going to feel able to talk about their own funeral, but if you can write down a basic guide for your family on what you want them to do and then leave that somewhere safe for them - eg, with your will, or have it documented in your funeral plan (if you have one)  or just tell the family that when the time comes, everything is written down for them and then they will know where to find your written wishes. 

What do you need to tell them? This isn't an exhaustive list as there are many options open to you, but for the majority of people this will include:

Preferred Funeral Director - very important if there is a funeral plan in place.
Cremation or burial?
Type of officiant - if you know who you want, be sure to write down their name. 
Where? Church, Crematorium, or somewhere totally different for the service?
If being cremated where you want your ashes to be laid to rest, and if burial, is there a certain area/ do you have a plot?
Funeral transport - do you want to take your final ride in a hearse, horse and carriage, tractor, sidecar and motorbike? (there are lots of options).
Flowers - any guidance on what flowers/no flowers/family flowers only.
Donations - do you want the congregation to donate to a charity in your memory - if so name the charity(s).
Music. What music would you like to have played for your ceremony?
Religious content - do you want any hymns/prayers or readings at your service? Are there any poems you would like to have included, how do you want us to remember your life in your ceremony?
Dress code - do you want everyone to wear a certain colour, be formal or relaxed?
Photos - do you have any preference as to whether or not there are pictures of you on display at the ceremony?
Doors/curtains (Crematorium), do you want them to remain open or be closed?

This isn't exhaustive, there are just so many options that I cannot narrow it down to one blog, but feel free to message me to ask any questions that you have.  

The idea of this list is to give you some ideas on where to start. Some of the options you might prefer to let the family decide upon - things like photos of you or the doors/curtains being closed - it is the family who have to see those things, so you might prefer to let them decide on how they will feel about that. 

One of the main areas that I find people struggling with is music, if you are not a great music fan it is hard for your family to pick something and likewise if you love music it is so hard to try and narrow down the choices, if you can pick your own, your family will really benefit from that. 

My Dad used to say to me 'I don't care what your do, I wont be there', but once I told him how hard this can make organising a funeral he did actually sit and write his wishes, because he then realised that would make it easier for me and my sister when the time comes (which we dearly hope will not be for a very long time yet!).

I hope this is of help, please get in touch with any questions or comments you may have. You can email me at amandajaneceremonies@outlook.com, or message me via my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/amandajaneceremonies/ 

With love, 
Amanda Jane x